Another New Normal

This is the post excerpt.

I can’t believe I’m finally doing this.  Telling a story about an extraordinary individual from my perspective.  I will be honest, transparent and…..vulnerable to the best of my ability.  I love with everything that is in me and I hope you feel that love through my story.

To catch you up to Chapter 10 in my journey, here is the cliff note version:  My husband, “Spike” and I had an incredible love story.  The kind that movies are made of.  The kind that went through the fire and came out stronger.  The kind that was challenged every day, even in the face of death.  9 1/2 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma…CANCER.  I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him….but he spent the rest of his life with me.  He went to Heaven on January 6, 2016.  Cancer took so much of our time, strength, energy and vocabulary that I almost hate to give it a place here.

So, this blog will not focus solely on the C@NC3R itself, but what I learned about life after the doctors told us we would have a “new normal”.  Now, almost a decade later, I am a….. (I can’t hardly spit out the word)……WIDOW.  That is the first time I have acknowledged this dreadful fact.

It’s been seven months since the funeral and I’m having a hard time moving on.  I don’t know how to handle life after love.  Ours was so rare, so genuine, so special, so…..real.

Once again, I am being told that I am going to have another “new normal”.

I’m hoping that by blogging it helps bring healing to my heart….and maybe even yours because maybe we have something in common.  Maybe you’ve been through a loss or are facing a difficult situation right now.  Maybe you’re as exhausted as me.  Tired of putting on a game face to prove to the world…or maybe just yourself…how strong you are.  Truth is….my heart feels like it is dying.  I’m in survival mode.  Just doing what I gotta do to get through another day, another hour, another minute.  Maybe, just maybe….you feel that way too.

Let’s be real….let’s be honest.  I give all of my love…all of the time, even if it hurts.  You can trust me…..I’ve been there…..I understand and I want to hear your story too.

So, here’s to you and me, finding a new normal….whatever that is.

All my love,

Stina-B

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Author: Stina-B

Christina is a missionary, adventure seeker, singer/songwriter, devoted mother and caregiver. She lives to help others and advocates for caregivers of those battling cancer. Christina is sharing her story from the perspective of a caregiver, wife, mother and now....widow.

7 thoughts on “Another New Normal”

  1. Christina, yours and Spike story brought so much hope for so many. Your dedication and unwavering love was very obvious to those of us watching your battle. I can’t imagine what your life is like right now but I do know you’re an incredibly strong woman. God bless you and your next chapter❤️

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  2. Love this! You are always such an inspiration! I truly feel blessed to have the privilege to call you a friend; to be honest more like family! Its crazy that the first time I met you at Piggers wedding I knew we were going to be friends for life! I pray for you every day and love you to the Moon and back!! Xoxo

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  3. I don’t know truly what to say except Brad was the perfict man the one I still pray and hope God will one day send me after I was delivered I still find myself lonely trying to find things to do to keep from going back to old habits Lately the only thing that seems to help is listening to A lot of Christian music and writing. My son is growing up and I am having a hard time letting him because I know one day I will be alone again but I know I have Jesus no matter what This is not how I wanted my life to be like but you take chances in life and sometimes it don’t go the way we planned but I know God is with us I very thankful that one day Zach Will get to see his dad again because there was a time I was not so sure about that

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