Another New Normal

This is the post excerpt.

I can’t believe I’m finally doing this.  Telling a story about an extraordinary individual from my perspective.  I will be honest, transparent and…..vulnerable to the best of my ability.  I love with everything that is in me and I hope you feel that love through my story.

To catch you up to Chapter 10 in my journey, here is the cliff note version:  My husband, “Spike” and I had an incredible love story.  The kind that movies are made of.  The kind that went through the fire and came out stronger.  The kind that was challenged every day, even in the face of death.  9 1/2 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma…CANCER.  I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him….but he spent the rest of his life with me.  He went to Heaven on January 6, 2016.  Cancer took so much of our time, strength, energy and vocabulary that I almost hate to give it a place here.

So, this blog will not focus solely on the C@NC3R itself, but what I learned about life after the doctors told us we would have a “new normal”.  Now, almost a decade later, I am a….. (I can’t hardly spit out the word)……WIDOW.  That is the first time I have acknowledged this dreadful fact.

It’s been seven months since the funeral and I’m having a hard time moving on.  I don’t know how to handle life after love.  Ours was so rare, so genuine, so special, so…..real.

Once again, I am being told that I am going to have another “new normal”.

I’m hoping that by blogging it helps bring healing to my heart….and maybe even yours because maybe we have something in common.  Maybe you’ve been through a loss or are facing a difficult situation right now.  Maybe you’re as exhausted as me.  Tired of putting on a game face to prove to the world…or maybe just yourself…how strong you are.  Truth is….my heart feels like it is dying.  I’m in survival mode.  Just doing what I gotta do to get through another day, another hour, another minute.  Maybe, just maybe….you feel that way too.

Let’s be real….let’s be honest.  I give all of my love…all of the time, even if it hurts.  You can trust me…..I’ve been there…..I understand and I want to hear your story too.

So, here’s to you and me, finding a new normal….whatever that is.

All my love,

Stina-B

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